Good morning, friends. Last night, Amazon Sage dream-travelled to Central Florida. There, outside busy Downtown Disney, a 12 year old girl was playing a game of hide and seek with her father. Only problem is, her Dad wasn't playing. He was desperately trying to keep her safe from unknown predators by following her, perhaps a bit too closely, everywhere she went. Were it not so dangerous for the young girl to be out of site of her caring Dad, it would be humorous. I picked up the father's silent cry for help as he called to his little girl, afraid she had been abducted.
You see, unaccustomed to adolescents' growing need for independence, this Dad is still treating his daughter like a five-year old and she wants nothing to do with it. By disappearing whenever he begins to hover, she is telling him to back off. What she does not know is that nearby, also keeping his eye on her, is a first degree felon whose great delight is in kidnapping wayward young girls, doing all manner of things to them, then tossing them alongside the road like yesterday's trash. Of course, the girl's Dad knows about predators. That is why he is so worried.
I thought, what can I do to help? Fortunately the answer did not take a rocket scientist. I clued in the father to the girl's whereabouts and suggested that he do two things. First, allow his daughter some space in safe environments so she does not feel she must escape his watchful eye when they are in unsafe surroundings. Maybe Downtown Disney at night is not the best place for him to bring her. Second, do things “with” her rather than simply "corral" her. If he gives himself a little credit, he might realize that there are lots of things they can do to have fun together. Sure, at first, she will complain until she sees how much fun it is. These are things that she will remember for years to come, starting with laughing about their dangerous game of hide and seek.
When I spoke with the girl, I pointed to the predator and reminded her that her Dad simply wants to protect her. I suggested she talk with him about her concerns. Perhaps they can share a banana split (low fat, of course), then work it off with a different kind of game (basketball and miniature golf come to mind). Most of all, I encouraged both of them to imagine what the other feels and come up with solutions that serve them both... Sweet dreams.
