“A Body to Die For: Body Image, and the Quest for Perfection”

I saw this title on a workshop ad and wondered how American women’s body images have changed since the obesity epidemic burst forth a few years ago. Last night, as Amazon Sage, I visited the secret shame of a few people you would never suspect have this problem. One is a once famous actor whose body now resembles that of an Auschwitz death camp survivor. You might wonder how her distorted body image could possibly be related to an increased emphasis on obesity. That is the nature of anorexia nervosa; an eating disorder that has taken the lives of thousands of girls and young women.

In contrast to bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder in which a person sees their body fairly accurately, yet engages in periodic binges and purges to try to keep down their weight; anorexia literally changes the ability of the person to see their body as others do. She thinks she is fat even as she is dying from starvation. Worse, if you try to confront her on her dangerous delusion, she will deny it. And when headlines shout out how obese Americans have become, anorectics personalize the message, starving themselves even more, in their quest to rid themselves of nonexistent fat. For this reason, anorexia nervosa is a mental as well as a physical disorder and needs immediate treatment. 

I will talk more about the opposite problem later; that is, the delusion some people exhibit, when they think they are healthy... but in reality have sentenced themselves to a slow, painful death from the diseases associated with true obesity.

As for now, I will leave you with this thought: If each one of us could see that we are already perfectly who we are and that no one else can possibly be more perfectly us then ourselves, we might be able to let go of others’ expectations (even if it means getting help to do that), and live healthy, fun, and loving lives. Time to wake up, sleepy heads...

“Super Bowl can be super if you make it so...”

Good morning, friends. Today is Super Bowl Sunday so stay safe, have fun, and put a huge dent in the sex slave trade by refusing to participate in this scourge of American life. These stolen children are definitely not having fun. As I noted in my blog a few days ago:

"So pervasive has internet sex (aka porn), become that young girls and boys are stolen...to provide "product" for a leering audience. Apparently, Super Bowl Sunday is the worst. It seems that on this special day, more than a few fathers and husbands plan to take part in guilty pleasures when they travel to the football game. As a result, evil men stock up their "product" to provide hookers of every flavor. What if somebody’s Daddy got into a room with one of these young girls and discovered that she is the 13 year old from down the street who went missing a few weeks ago? Did you know that she cries to go home to her parents? Did you know she is the friend of your daughter?" 

Call: 1-800-The Lost if you see any of these girls and report these kidnappers and rapists to the police. Have a good day!

"A chill has settled over the land..."

Brrr... so much of the country is freezing right now that it is difficult to find a warm spot for those with meager resources or no place to live. On the road, large transport trucks are dwarfed by the size of storms and everyday travelers face unknown dangers. Last night, in my dreams, I travelled to some of these places and saw a little military family motoring from California to New Jersey with their year-old baby and little puppy.  

At the time moving arrangements were made, 10 days seemed like plenty. Now, as they face delay after delay, they wonder, “What if we don’t get there by the time the moving truck arrives? What if all our worldly possessions are left where we cannot afford to retrieve them?” This can be gut wrenching.  Yet, in some cases, the struggle is to stay alive. I travel back in time to a mountainous area of Northern California, where a similar storm stopped the car of another little family. 

Alone and with inadequate supplies, they finally set out on foot. Hours blend into days as they fight the blizzard. Finally, the young mom can go no further. With her baby, she huddles against a snow drift as her husband continues his trek to find help. I think, “What a wake up call for us all; the importance of adequately preparing when we set out and always having a contingency plan for freak storms.” 

Perhaps all of this is a metaphor for the political chill that has settled over this land of late, taking us ever deeper into the freezing realms of dissent. Maybe it is time we all brave the elements and reach out to each other, across party lines, particularly to the people who live on the Pine Ridge Reservation. These people are called Indians, but they are also our forefathers, our sisters and our brothers.  In the midst of this wintry blast, far too few of these families have adequate resources. Most specifically, they have too little heat and they need our help. Their elders and babies are literally freezing to death. They fear that without others knowing of their plight, they may perish. It is a new day, my friends. What is our contingency plan for this terrible storm? Will you help? 

Super Bowl Sunday is bruised and bleeding...

Last night, I heard the cries of another young girl. This one is right here in the good old U.S. of A. It seems some man left a 13 year old bruised and bleeding after his day of revelry... on Super Bowl Sunday! As Amazon Sage, I could already hear her sobs floating back to me through time, so I travelled forward in my dreams, to a place this  crime will never be reported; to a house of ill-repute. Here, this little girl is a sex slave, forced into prostitution by someone she met on-line. Befriended by a man pretending to be a young girl, in her innocence, she agreed to meet.

So pervasive has internet sex (aka porn), become that young girls and boys are stolen from their own bedrooms to provide "product" for a leering audience. Apparently, Super Bowl Sunday is the worst; so much so that a huge number of churches will be devoting this Sunday to it. It seems that on this special day, more than a few fathers and husbands plan to take part in their guilty pleasures when they travel to the football game. As a result, evil men are stocking up their "product" to provide hookers of every flavor. 

I know the arguments that otherwise good men like to make; "Prostitution is a victimless crime". Well, let me be the first to tell you it is not. Everyday, young girls are kidnapped and forced into lives of degradation and worse, for the benefit of men’s guilty pleasures. One girl I spoke with was chained to a bed, forcefully injected with heroin for days, then "turned out" on the streets. There, if she didn't smile and bring back the money, she would be savagely beaten. This is victimless? What if somebody’s Daddy got into a room with her and discovered that she is the young girl from down the street who went missing a few weeks ago? Did you know that she cries to go home to her parents?

We’ll talk more about this, later. Today, when I wake up, I will be searching the woods for yet another girl who “went missing.” This time, I hope we find her alive.

Fire in the belly of a nation...

Cough, cough!! Good morning, friends. Excuse my cough but last night, along with what has been described as rivers of protesters, Amazon Sage, travelled to Tahrir, Liberation Square, in Cairo, Egypt.  There I visited the home of a young girl named Yasmin. Alone and frightened, in a neighborhood filled with chaos, I heard Yasmin's silent cry for help in my dreams. When I arrived, I found her normally friendly neighbors having to act as guards in order to keep armed thugs from breaking into her home. When I asked her what they were after, she said "To tell you the truth, I just don't know...." Then she broke out in tears.

Ironically, Yasmin and her parents have prayed for many years, for people to take to the streets, because they desperately want to see a change in their government. However, on an emotional level, it is taking its toll on young ones like her and her younger siblings. What began as protests has become a real revolution, led by the protesters and even some in the army. Thankfully, on Monday night the army promised that they would not fire on protesters.

Ordinarily when I dream travel to hot spots in the world, I am able to do something to make a difference, so on this night, I asked Yasmin and her parents what they would have me do to help them and their people. Their answer was one I never expected but will pass on to you, my gentle readers. They asked that all people, of all faiths, pray to God, Allah, the Creator of all, for peace; not just in their land, but around the world. Peace, السلام, 和平, мира, ความสงบสุข, शांति, salaøm, Tutkium, Rój, peace...

Bullied, beaten, and betrayed

Last night there were footsteps, running, running, trying to get away from the causes of their torment. No, these were not people being chased by invisible monsters from a scifi movie, these were little boys or girls, trying to escape the proverbial bully. In the dream world of Amazon Sage, she is able to do something about it... sometimes that something comes in the form of understanding.

Last night the dreams of Amazon Sage transported her to Oakland California where two little boys are being attacked by four older bullies. They are next to a stream in the inner city. But it could be Detroit, LA, Atlanta, or a small town anywhere in the USA. Children are running to escape the older or stronger kids who, without intervention, become adult predators in one form or another. Socioeconomic background and race do not protect either the bully or the victim from this scourge.

In this case, the two victims are best friends, a white boy and a black boy. Minding their own business, they happily search for tadpoles in a nearby creek outside of their apartments. They are both children of single moms and are supposed to stay in the apartment complex while their moms are away. But on this day, they venture out of the security gate in search of adventure. They find more than they bargained for.

Suddenly, four tough looking older boys surround them, slinging racial and other slurs at them both. Two of their group grab one little boy, two grab the other, forcing them to the ground and shoving their faces into the water until the boys think their lungs will explode. Then they grab some of the prey the little boys caught and try to force the little boys to eat the creatures. Who knows what finally makes the bullies stop, but eventually they tire of their torment and leave laughing.

The little boys limp home, bleeding and traumatized, vowing to never allow this to happen again. For some children that vow becomes their painful initiation into becoming bullies themselves. For others, these victimized children shrink in fear, never wanting to leave the safety of their bedrooms again, while some lose themselves in the seemingly safer world of video games like Grand Theft Auto. Unfortunately, these types of video games originated as training videos to teach soldiers how to kill. Are we training a nation of killers?

Take a close enough look and you will find that most school yard shooters and parent killers experienced their own abuse; unfortunately not only from other kids. Then they learned how to kill, without regard for the consequences, through absorption in video games. Therefore, as I spoke to the parents of these young perpetrators I told them some things many don't know about bullies.

When a child is bullied, whether by schoolmates, a bigger cousin, or a belligerent parent, the effect is the same and it is long-lasting. Many parents will retort "Discipline teaches them respect." My answer? "Well, duh, of course the kid is going to act polite to their abuser." That's why so many abusive parents think "whipping" a child is okay. Flash! There are a lot more effective forms of discipline that don't carry the same risks. After all, that's all bullies are really doing... imitating someone in their lives who did them that way. Effective (non abusive) discipline takes more caring and time than many parents want to provide. That's why they make excuses, it's just easier to hit and yell.

So I asked the parents "Do you know what kind of person becomes a bully?" They shook their heads. "A person who is very scared inside, who has themselves been bullied, beaten, or betrayed." Fortunately, most parents really do love their children and will ask, "Who can help them stop being a bully before it's too late?" Again, my answer, "Anybody who really cares; by sitting down and talking with these kids about their dreams, helping them create their own goals and find other ways to fight their paralyzing fears, the ones that are currently only relieved through repeating what their own abuser did to them." So what happens to the little boys? Imagine the best and make it so.

Good morning, friends. Last night, Amazon Sage dream-travelled to Central Florida. There, outside busy Downtown Disney, a 12 year old girl was playing a game of hide and seek with her father. Only problem is, her Dad wasn't playing. He was desperately trying to keep her safe from unknown predators by following her, perhaps a bit too closely, everywhere she went. Were it not so dangerous for the young girl to be out of site of her caring Dad, it would be humorous. I picked up the father's silent cry for help as he called to his little girl, afraid she had been abducted. 

You see, unaccustomed to adolescents' growing need for independence, this Dad is still treating his daughter like a five-year old and she wants nothing to do with it. By disappearing whenever he begins to hover, she is telling him to back off. What she does not know is that nearby, also keeping his eye on her, is a first degree felon whose great delight is in kidnapping wayward young girls, doing all manner of things to them, then tossing them alongside the road like yesterday's trash. Of course, the girl's Dad knows about predators. That is why he is so worried.

I thought, what can I do to help? Fortunately the answer did not take a rocket scientist. I clued in the father to the girl's whereabouts and suggested that he do two things.  First, allow his daughter some space in safe environments so she does not feel she must escape his watchful eye when they are in unsafe surroundings. Maybe Downtown Disney at night is not the best place for him to bring her. Second, do things “with” her rather than simply "corral" her. If he gives himself a little credit, he might realize that there are lots of things they can do to have fun together. Sure, at first, she will complain until she sees how much fun it is. These are things that she will remember for years to come, starting with laughing about their dangerous game of hide and seek. 

When I spoke with the girl, I pointed to the predator and reminded her that her Dad simply wants to protect her. I suggested she talk with him about her concerns. Perhaps they can share a banana split (low fat, of course), then work it off with a different kind of game (basketball and miniature golf come to mind). Most of all, I encouraged both of them to imagine what the other feels and come up with solutions that serve them both... Sweet dreams.